Onboarding copy fails on length, not on talent. Each screen earns 2 seconds before a swipe or a back tap. The prompts below force tight, action-led copy on every surface — welcome, permission ask, empty state, tooltip, aha pitch, activation reminder — and add the surfaces most teams forget: error, accessibility, locale, and re-onboarding after a big update.
Best for
- New mobile apps and SaaS onboarding flows
- Re-onboarding after major version releases
- Permission-ask copy review and rewrite
- Activation push and email sequences
- Localization audit before launching a new market
1. Welcome screen variants
App: {one-line description}. First-user pain it solves: {pain}. Write 5 welcome-screen variants. Each: headline (≤8 words), 1 sub-line (≤14 words), 1 CTA (≤3 words). No "Welcome aboard!", no "Let's get started!". Mark which variant is best for organic install vs paid install.2. Permission-ask copy
I need to ask for {permission: notifications / location / mic / contacts}. Write 4 ask variants. Each explains the user-value in 1 honest sentence (≤18 words) — not the developer-value. Include 1 line of microcopy under the system dialog that previews why we are asking, so the system permission popup isn't a surprise.3. Empty state copy
For the empty state of {screen}, write 5 variants. Each must include: 1 line on what is here (or what is missing), 1 line on the smallest first action, 1 line of micro-encouragement. ≤25 words total per variant. Forbid "no items yet" alone — always pair with the action.4. Tooltip / coach mark
For new feature {feature}, write 5 tooltip copy variants (≤15 words each). The tooltip must explain the value, not the mechanics. Banned phrases: "Click here", "Tap to", "This is where you can". Goal: the user understands the *outcome* of tapping it before they tap.5. Aha-moment pitch screen
My app's aha moment is when the user {action} for the first time. Write the pitch screen copy: headline (≤7 words), 2 lines of body (≤20 words each), 1 CTA. Voice: confident, not hyped. End with a single line previewing what unlocks next.6. Activation reminder push
The user signed up but hasn't {key action} within 48 hours. Write 3 push-notification copy variants nudging them back. ≤25 chars title, ≤80 chars body. Voice: not guilty, not breathless. One variant should reference a specific value the user is missing, not a generic "come back".7. Multi-step onboarding flow copy
For a 5-step onboarding flow, write copy for each step: step title (≤6 words), sub-line (≤18 words), primary CTA, secondary "skip for now" CTA. Steps in order: {list}. Each step should make the next step feel inevitable, not optional — but skip must still be present and honest.8. Error state during onboarding
The user hits {error} during onboarding. Write copy that does three things in ≤40 words: (a) name what happened in plain language, (b) tell them the single best next action, (c) offer 1 alternative path. No blame, no jargon, no "Oops!".9. Accessibility / VoiceOver labels
Below are my 5 onboarding screen headlines and CTAs. Write VoiceOver labels for each interactive element. Labels must be ≤30 chars, action-led ("Continue to step 2", not "Continue"), and read naturally when spoken aloud. Flag any visual-only cues that lack a text equivalent.
{paste headlines + CTAs}10. Locale audit — adapt copy for a new market
My US-English onboarding copy is below. Adapt it for {market: UK / DE / JP / BR}. Adjust: idioms, formality level, length budget (DE tends longer, JP shorter sentences), unit references, holiday and cultural references. Flag any line that loses meaning when translated.
{paste US copy}11. Re-onboarding after major version
We shipped a major update with {N} new features. Write a 3-screen re-onboarding flow for existing users (not new installs). Tone: respectful — they already know the app. Each screen: headline, sub-line, CTA, plus an explicit "What's gone" callout if any old feature was removed.12. Free-to-paid upgrade nudge inside onboarding
At the end of onboarding I want to soft-pitch the paid tier without killing activation. Write 3 nudge variants: (a) value-led — names the single best paid feature, (b) deferred — "stay on free, we'll show you later when X", (c) trial-led — 7-day trial CTA. Each ≤40 words. None should feel like a paywall.Common mistakes
- Long welcome screens that explain the entire app instead of pitching one outcome
- Permission asks with no value pitch, so the system popup feels like an ambush
- Tooltips that say “Click here” or describe mechanics rather than outcome
- Skipping the error and accessibility surfaces — they fail the audit and the launch
- Re-onboarding existing users as if they are new installs, wasting their patience